I was in the doldrums of selling, when I get a call from my banjo playing buddy in Atlanta, GA.  It turns out that he had one more saga to tell me about in the ongoing battle his wife was having with his neighbor.   It turns out that no matter how many suggestions my friends neighbor gave to his wife, she kept on walking her dog by their front lawn!   You get the drift.  Nice Kentucky Blue Grass with a coiled turd on it.  Aint’ too good for neighborly love.

Well one fine morning, after I had enjoyed a great breakfast at work, my buddy calls me with panic in his voice…  He said he woke up in the morning, had his coffee cup in hand, and walked out to the front of his house to pick up the morning paper, and aghast, there it was…  On his glistening new Red Jeep 4×4 SUV was a giant steaming log of turd.   He was so horrified that he called me up.. What made me start pissing my pants is when he said he knew his neighbor did it.. I asked, “What do you mean?” He said that in the middle of the night, his neighbor must have got on top of the hood of his Jeep, pulled his pants down, and squeezed out a Stanley Steamer.  As I was laughing my ass off, I asked him how he knew it was a human crapola and he said he could tell by the size of it…  He also said it was about 15 inches long, and glistening in the morning sun.

Needless to say, my friend’s wife does not walk the dog anymore.